Truly does NOT make us stronger. This is a furphy of royal proportions. The last several months have found me fighting invisible battles with unknowable foes. My MUEs have been struck down by the malaise of COVID restrictions and my local supports have dwindled into oblivion. That said, I am still here. I remain in the battle posture of a monty python knight, suggesting that despite a laundry list of likely fatal injuries, I am prepared for the skirmish. ‘Tis but a scratch!’
Of course the truth is anything but that.
And so, for the time being, I subsist with survival in mind. Not for the first time either, but there is no benefit to having been in this poisition before. There is no real learning curve that Ive discovered. There is very little I know from previous mental health crises that I find of use in my current circumstances. I am perhaps more accepting of, and patient about, my predicament, but the daily proposition of yet another battle for wellbeing has lost none of its sting. The mountain I am yet to climb is no smaller and the sherpas continue to elude me.
I draw my strength from the tiny moments in life; the smiles on my children’s faces when I can make them laugh, the attentions of my dog in the second between her starting to lick my face and me remembering she ate cat vomit earlier, and the beauty of an empty street where birds frolic and bugs are killed by them (I know bugs are important, I just dont like them–they are akin to koalas on my scale of loathing).
The concept of freedom that Americans often talk about has always confused my uneducated brain. I have been unable to comprehend the difference between the freedom Americans tout compared to the freedom that exists in most democracies. Is there an extra level of freedom that hasnt revealed itself to me (and which ironically only exists in a country where incarceration rates lead the world, ahead of such stalwarts of freedom as Cuba, Rwanda and Turkmenistan)? Is uber freedom even possible? Most importantly is all freedom a good thing? I think its fair to suggest the answer to that is likely to be ‘no’.
I think looking at what freedom is could be useful in helping to work out what is going on here and whether Americans sharing ‘freedom’ memes (while probably chanting USA with a fist in the air in their homes) actually have a point. Something you learn in criminology studies is that in a society, individuals give up a certain amount of liberty to belong to (and therefore be protected by) a community. This means that while you may not live with strict limitations about how you exist, it is generally agreed that firebombing your neighbours home (honestly, they’ve been very noisy lately) would be frowned upon. Although you could physically do it, the hope is that the consequential loss of your personal freedom when you go jail is enough to put you off. Freedom is sold to the masses as a good thing and used as a carrot AND a stick. Sure, you can live freely, but if you live too freely or impede someone else’s freedom then you will lose your freedom and if you behave well while you are not free, you can eventually return to freedom unless you again live too freely, and it all forms a nice little freedom merry-go-round.
That’s pretty much the case in all democracies, although the types of freedom and accepted free behaviours change pretty drastically, globally speaking. For example, in Australian waters you would not be free to catch and kill whales. In some other countries, you are not only free to do so, you are encouraged to do so. People from other countries even kill them in Australian waters, because no one has got the hang of removing freedoms of foreigners that were given by foreign authorities without creating a bit of an international kerfuffle of diplomacy and no-one likes international diplomatic kerfuffles. Then of course are the perceptions of freedom, which also vary drastically. Several sociological and criminological studies show us that informal surveillance and social capital influence how we behave and despite being free to do so, we might avoid doing something that could ‘look bad’. It’s anyone’s guess how free any democratic society really is when you think about it hard enough.
So then, what makes America ‘more free’? Its the same thing that sees Trump in power, racism flourish and the wealth divide grow exponentially; ignorance. In fairness, ignorance is a good thing for governments (who are increasingly beholden to corporate players) to foster in its constituents. Afterall, if you cant perceive a fence, are you really penned in? Now, I say this being well aware my own nation voted in a prime minister who is a born again christian and chauvinist. The cretin has no business making decisions regarding the fate of dog turds that find their way to his lawn, let alone a nation of people. Ignorance is definitely thriving here too. This make’s America’s role as a global leader even more crucial.
Now let’s get down to what freedom in America really means. American Freedom seems so closely tied to the least ethical versions of capitalism (see the joke I made there? ethical capitalism! ha!) that they fell in love and had a baby called ‘Murica. ‘Murica is where money is king and social policies are considered communist threats. ‘Murica is where law enforcement oversight positions are often filled by popular vote and back door deals rather than any kind of merit (because that would just be sensible and no one could make money or gain a perk/contract). It’s the place where jurisprudence went on spring break, got drunk, drove, mowed down several legislative statutes and now sits behind bars after being convicted of serial killing by evidence from a forensic pathology specialist in theoretical felonies. It is a place where even the destitute have been brainwashed to despise socialised healthcare models around the world, instead preferring to view healthcare as a kind of indicator of success.
Freedom of expression, freedom of the press, freedom to bear arms (dude, I know this right was given in a revolutionary era, but really, if you arent taking up arms again your current administration, its a hint that you never will again, so maybe its time to rethink that one), these rights only work in conjunction with respective responsibilities. The lack of regulation in America has caused some serious issues for the world from illegal military action to corporate negligence. It’s the freedom from regulation, and ultimate responsibility that seem to make America a special kind of free. The idea that this greater freedom that exists in America is anything but a steady drive to a dystopian future is laughable. That a large portion of Americans think this is what makes the nation great is soul destroying even for someone half a world away.
In light of my very uninformed (some might say, ignorant) opinions, it was with wry mirth that I read some ten thousand Americans are planning to sue the chinese government for the current pandemic. Obviously, I do not find the deaths of thousands of people across the globe to be amusing, I hope that goes without saying (but I said it just in case). It is the idea that a nation whose wealth is built around skirting legal and ethical obligations and due and proper processes should feel it appropriate to sue another for doing the same thing. If it is some no-win-no-pay firm, then they are indeed brave, I mean, which court would this even go through? How would enforcement happen (because I can bet you the whole six trillion dollars that the Chinese government may consider hiding their money in the couch cushions of every temple and palace they havent bulldozed to build more factories to produce and/or export items for American companies)? Even more absurd is the purported cause of the outbreak; a lack of regulation of exotic food markets in China – so, China demonstrating its own uber freedoms.
Maybe freedom really isnt all its cracked up to be. Maybe Neo took the wrong pill. Of course, having borderline personality disorder means, my own view on this might be unpopular. Afterall, my sense of self is made of whatever everyone else thinks it should be and I am happiest when given a set of parameters to work with. My naivete means that I expect healthcare providers to do both healing and caring, not healing and profiteering. I cant wrap my head around a pharmaceutical company that would fudge trial results in favour of a payday. I am discombobulated by a government who doesnt reflect the values of its population. But in the case of a nation with freedoms to carry out protests while openly carrying weapons, freedoms that allow hate speech and bigotry to have a place at the table and freedoms that ignore the vulnerable and protect the privileged, all while insisting on their right to stage an armed revolt against the government, I am more worried that it does.
It really is that simple. You can be an award winning writer, a local shop attendant or Bill fricken Gates. You can be Kim Jong-un, or Thanos, or both for that matter (but please dont) but you are still not the exception! You need to stay home unless you are working in essential services. No, pop-ins, no swing-bys, no acts of genocide that require you to emerge from your heavily fortified compound. Every single one of us is way more discriminatory than this virus. The handful of people living in sterilised bubbles around the world are about to become the master race. Let that sink in for a moment while you spread your conspiracy theories about big pharma, China, world governments and the ever maligned health authorities (damn them for trying to keep us all healthy and alive!).
Better still, lets assume whichever convoluted conspiracy you are throwing out is true. Lets say, China is in league with Kim/Thanos and big pharma to throw Chaos loose into the global economy and achieve whatever evil ends are planned. People are still getting very ill. People are still dying. It is very difficult to give the conspirators the proverbial finger from an inert lump of tissue stowed in a makeshift morgue at the local venue for kids iceskating parties and ice cream. In fact, it is difficult to do just about anything when you are an inert lump of tissue in any kind of morgue, because it usually means that you are dead. Even if in your dying moments, you managed to weakly scrawl across a piece of paper “it was Chin…” its going to leave a lot of unanswered questions. In short, whatever theory you support about how a new variant of a reasonably well known type of virus came about, the theory isnt going to do a lot to protect you and will especially do very little to protect the people you care about.
Social media posts promoting virus conspiracies among governments are about as effective as a magician’s act of cutting a man in half by actually really cutting him in half despite a lot of blood and screaming to warn you, and then blaming the maker of the box when the man doesnt become whole again. People still died and common sense could have easily prevailed. Instead it appears that several magicians have decided to replicate the trick, changing nothing and using the easily predictable resulting death as further proof of the box maker plotting against its customers. The thing is, the box maker really needs magicians to stop cutting people in half, however it relied on magicians being cognisant of their own responsibilities to one another, and to possess an ounce of common sense to stop sawing when the blood and screaming happened.
I think it’s fair to say that the rush on purchasing everyday grocery items and America’s current blitz purchasing of guns gives rise to an issue that has been quietly brewing away in the background. While people quite rightly fear common sense is becoming as scarce a commodity as a vegan who likes to keep their dietary preferences out of general conversation, there is another great loss facing our society which I only realised I also lacked when I happened to study it. Critical thinking is something that appears to have declined in exact relativity to its growing necessity. The Information Age ensures it is all but impossible to avoid the insidious and ubiquitous streams of fact, fiction and all of it’s hybrid forms in our everyday lives. As much as the everyday person’s ability to critically examine this influx of words seems to be diminishing, even those well equipped to parse articles and opinions are finding those tasks ever more challenging.
Previously, considerations given to opinions offered as facts involved considering not only the language used, but also who was using that language and more importantly who benefits from the piece. With so many unregulated sources of information (including this one), and the changing mode of communicating facts, figures and opinions, it is understandable that even the experienced among us occasionally decide to simply accept assertions such as ‘not all billionaires have personality disorders’ because sometimes its just not worth the effort. However it’s also less clear these days to figure out who benefits from anything we learn via the media. Global commercial homogeneity makes it difficult to draw a direct line from a single piece of information to the end beneficiary. I cant tell my Barclays from my Legal and General Group (clearly they dont have a strong creative department to assist with their naming decision though) but I do know enough to actually know that. I know that the brand I am buying isnt the multinational entity I am supporting. Hell, if corporate legislators cant keep up with who is doing what and where, I certainly cant be expected to!
It places us in the awkward position of needing to rethink how we apply critical thinking to the information we imbibe. If we cant apply a healthy dose of skepticism to news and opinion articles because the beneficiaries have transcended the usual methods of identification, then we have two options before us: we can either believe virtually everything we read, making adjustments for the hourly updates and corrections, or we can simply lose all faith any readily available public information because it is now just too challenging to work out who benefits and where further research is needed. The first option is the one where we find scammers are thriving. The sensationalisation of the news and tabloid media (not to mention social media which only ever seems to get attention when offering extreme views framed as ‘hot takes) mean that there are a solid chunk of very scared and confused citizens of the world, ripe for manipulation. Its a dangerous combination which is constantly exploited by people in power to further their agenda. The other side of the coin, where people are prone to disbelieve any information from the usual channels is equally problematic. People need information. If people cant trust the public news industry, then their search for reliable intelligence takes them to darker places than that whingeing bastard Frodo ever saw, and the ‘Sauron’ they will find there is far more malicious. Their information sources are nearly always right wing (a pattern there methinks), xenophobic and in support of aggressive bigotry. Rarely do you see an underground network dedicated to promoting acts of compassion and kindness to everyone else regardless of political persuasion, education or race. If in fact they ever did exist, I am sure the cynics of the world would promptly put an end to such clearly subversive activities in the name of the greater good.
So where does this leave us in the current landscape of misinformation, mistrust and maladjustment? It leaves us exactly where we were a week ago and a week before that. Whatever political leaning, education, value system or lifestyle you have, the only thing that should matter is your responsibility to yourself and the people who have to share this world with you. Stockpiling anything will not save you from getting sick. It may mean that you die with a stocked pantry, or that you infect a loved one who then dies while you have a stocked pantry. You might get sick and KNOW that some government/company somewhere caused this, but without access to a ventilator because people didnt stay home, and caused a surge in infections and demand on those ventilators, that knowledge will not save you. You might have seen on social media that a salt water gargle or a home made sanitiser can help you. But if you stay home and have no contact with others, you wont need to find out quite how gullible you were.
We are all in a position to save lives. I know for me that this is likely the closest I will ever get to saving someone’s life, as I dont plan on a frontline medical career. I might never meet the person I save from staying home, and they may never know that but for my self-isolation they are alive and well, but I can absolutely guarantee you that staying home will save lives. The hospital I work at are having to discuss how they will determine priority should medical staff have to choose who gets to be put on ventilation and who doesnt. Im not sure how much clearer it can be for naive among us as well as the cynics: STAY THE FUCK HOME.
And for those of you who like to engage in a little bit of critical thinking and are interested in who benefits from my opinion, the answer is me, you and everyone else.
*This message has been brought to you by Harold J Ethics esq. one of my Magical Unicorns of Existence.
Then we should all have this pandemic sorted in no time. Well, actually, probably not. I think this one is a ‘hold on tight’ scenario more than anything. I am reassured that there are minds much greater than mine working around the clock on how to get as many of us through this crisis and to the other side as possible. I am less heartened by the politicising of public health decisions and the opportunism and greed that has emerged. So tonight (1 night later than planned – I honestly couldnt face this blog last night, it was all feeling a bit much because I work in a hospital and the tension and anxiety is high indeed) I would like to share some lessons I have learned along the way in the hope it might help, or even inspire kindness and hope.
As usual, my MUEs have had a great deal to do with what I have learned over the years and seem like a good reference point. For those just joining me (which would be weird, its a blog, read from the start you weirdo), my MUEs are four in number, 7 in beauty and -16 in style. They are (in no particular order) Ethics, Chance, Chaos and Resilience. So maybe its worth considering where your own MUEs fit in your life. This is how my MUEs will influence my actions in the coming days, weeks and months;
Ethics, as usual is just a total PITA. Every possible good idea seems to not meet Ethics’ standards. Stock up on groceries so we know we are set should lockdown come to our town? Ethics has to remind me that greed and self-serving behaviour will only ever met with more of the same, and we cant ALWAYS be on the winning side of that. Want to go out and about because we are young and healthy? Ethics will remind us that all we need to do is spread our ‘young-people’s’ covid-19 germs (without even feeling unwell) to a friend and they bring it home and soon we have created our own game of russian roulette via six degrees of separation. Ethics reminds us that every single time we look out for ourselves, we encourage the person next to us to do the same and when one day we are channeling Blanche DuBois and need to rely upon the kindness of strangers, we will find ourselves very alone. If, on the other hand, we listen to Ethics’ incessant, monotone of judgement and begin to act for the benefit of those around us, we will spread the only thing that ever needs to go viral: kindness. In the end, we will discover, probably quite grudgingly, that the party pooper is almost always right. I mean, if Pooh Bear paid attention to Eeyore more often maybe he would have had a less volatile existence. The worst thing that ever happened to Eeyore was that his twig roof (which NEVER kept the rain off anyway) fell over which in reality was a pretty poor effort at a shelter in best of circumstances.
Chance has its place cemented here at the moment. Chance will continue to claim its victims with inexplicable discernment. There is a sense of being part of a morbid lottery. I think many feel that way, with the exception of such ignorant people as the complete morons who believe sharing a chalice in church is fine because Christ’s blood and body is perfect and therefore they cant get sick. News flash people, even if I buy into the blood and body stuff, it isnt his blood and body that will infect you, it is the saliva and other droplets that the person who partook before you left that will make you sick. Something tells me the fortified wine in church cant kill the viruses that sanitiser made with vodka cant touch. Chance is every idiot’s friend, make no mistake. It will get no admiration from me, mere acceptance at its presence and efforts to stymie its negative impacts on my life. Chance is loving the people in the community right now who seem to think they know better than the experts. These people are fodder for Chance and I can tell you right now, Chance is not a unicorn you want to give a lot of power over your life. Chance right now is a kid in a candy shop.
Talking about kids on sugar highs, Chaos is on a bender and a half. Chaos revels in uncertainty and anxiety. Confusion and frustration are its party drugs. Do you really want to push drugs on a Unicorn?? Is that something you want to see?? The world does not need a bunch of dirty street corners filled with broken down, clapped out unicorns wearing beanies because they sold their horns to witches for spells to keep the Kardashians popular. Who wants that on their conscience? Not to mention unicorns dont even have hands so cant write, let alone hold, a sign to beg for a taste of your angst to satisfy its cravings. Chaos is necessary. There is no doubt about that. Chaos is what makes the universe do its thing and is who we all have to thank for actually existing. Chaos is the reason we are what we are and not some weird life form made up of gas, minerals and liquid and so fragile that the slightest imbalance of that mix can kill us….oh wait….well then, thats just another good reason to stop metaphorically bending over mooning Chaos while it has its metaphorical machine gun aimed at us.
Finally there is Resilience. I admit I do have a bit of a soft spot for good old Resilience. Probably because it’s got me to where I am today, which comparatively, is significantly better than I think anyone had expected (and I refuse to give Chance the credit there). Resilience reminds me of the martial arts master (the one in Kung Fu Panda, specifically), with a deep and strong determination to achieve an outcome it feels is essential for the greater good. I suppose in some ways it encompasses some of the traits of it’s MUE brethren like the morality and nagging presence of Ethics and acts in strange harmony with Chance and Chaos while stopping short of hopeless acceptance. I think that is what appeals to me about Resilience, the belief that Chance and Chaos can absolutely have their fun and Ethics and will keep you pointed in the right direction, but without Resilience nothing could ever be achieved. Resilience gets you where you want to be no matter how many times something blocks your way. Resilience may very well be the difference between, lets say, a painter and genocidal dictator for example.
So while all of the MUE’s play their own part in this viral crisis thought to be the worst in living history, Resilience is the unicorn I would give the short odds to (noting unicorn racing is widely frowned upon – and Chaos cheats anyway). Resilience on days where you are sick of being at home will help you find something to keep you on track, it may even inspire you into creativity. Resilience when you or someone you love gets sick will give you hope and in case of loss, will help you survive. Resilience, when you see how a global financial recession impacts you and those around you will help you find novel and resourceful ways of getting by. Resilience will be the reason that many of us will be able to tell a story to our grandkids about the rise of kindness and compassion during a time when the world was afraid.
What is luck, anyway? 