Tag: Resilience

If a problem shared is a problem halved…

Then we should all have this pandemic sorted in no time. Well, actually, probably not. I think this one is a ‘hold on tight’ scenario more than anything. I am reassured that there are minds much greater than mine working around the clock on how to get as many of us through this crisis and to the other side as possible. I am less heartened by the politicising of public health decisions and the opportunism and greed that has emerged. So tonight (1 night later than planned – I honestly couldnt face this blog last night, it was all feeling a bit much because I work in a hospital and the tension and anxiety is high indeed) I would like to share some lessons I have learned along the way in the hope it might help, or even inspire kindness and hope.

As usual, my MUEs have had a great deal to do with what I have learned over the years and seem like a good reference point. For those just joining me (which would be weird, its a blog, read from the start you weirdo), my MUEs are four in number, 7 in beauty and -16 in style. They are (in no particular order) Ethics, Chance, Chaos and Resilience. So maybe its worth considering where your own MUEs fit in your life. This is how my MUEs will influence my actions in the coming days, weeks and months;

Ethics, as usual is just a total PITA. Every possible good idea seems to not meet Ethics’ standards. Stock up on groceries so we know we are set should lockdown come to our town? Ethics has to remind me that greed and self-serving behaviour will only ever met with more of the same, and we cant ALWAYS be on the winning side of that. Want to go out and about because we are young and healthy? Ethics will remind us that all we need to do is spread our ‘young-people’s’ covid-19 germs (without even feeling unwell) to a friend and they bring it home and soon we have created our own game of russian roulette via six degrees of separation. Ethics reminds us that every single time we look out for ourselves, we encourage the person next to us to do the same and when one day we are channeling Blanche DuBois and need to rely upon the kindness of strangers, we will find ourselves very alone. If, on the other hand, we listen to Ethics’ incessant, monotone of judgement and begin to act for the benefit of those around us, we will spread the only thing that ever needs to go viral: kindness. In the end, we will discover, probably quite grudgingly, that the party pooper is almost always right. I mean, if Pooh Bear paid attention to Eeyore more often maybe he would have had a less volatile existence. The worst thing that ever happened to Eeyore was that his twig roof (which NEVER kept the rain off anyway) fell over which in reality was a pretty poor effort at a shelter in best of circumstances.

Chance has its place cemented here at the moment. Chance will continue to claim its victims with inexplicable discernment. There is a sense of being part of a morbid lottery. I think many feel that way, with the exception of such ignorant people as the complete morons who believe sharing a chalice in church is fine because Christ’s blood and body is perfect and therefore they cant get sick. News flash people, even if I buy into the blood and body stuff, it isnt his blood and body that will infect you, it is the saliva and other droplets that the person who partook before you left that will make you sick. Something tells me the fortified wine in church cant kill the viruses that sanitiser made with vodka cant touch. Chance is every idiot’s friend, make no mistake. It will get no admiration from me, mere acceptance at its presence and efforts to stymie its negative impacts on my life. Chance is loving the people in the community right now who seem to think they know better than the experts. These people are fodder for Chance and I can tell you right now, Chance is not a unicorn you want to give a lot of power over your life. Chance right now is a kid in a candy shop.

Talking about kids on sugar highs, Chaos is on a bender and a half. Chaos revels in uncertainty and anxiety. Confusion and frustration are its party drugs. Do you really want to push drugs on a Unicorn?? Is that something you want to see?? The world does not need a bunch of dirty street corners filled with broken down, clapped out unicorns wearing beanies because they sold their horns to witches for spells to keep the Kardashians popular. Who wants that on their conscience? Not to mention unicorns dont even have hands so cant write, let alone hold, a sign to beg for a taste of your angst to satisfy its cravings. Chaos is necessary. There is no doubt about that. Chaos is what makes the universe do its thing and is who we all have to thank for actually existing. Chaos is the reason we are what we are and not some weird life form made up of gas, minerals and liquid and so fragile that the slightest imbalance of that mix can kill us….oh wait….well then, thats just another good reason to stop metaphorically bending over mooning Chaos while it has its metaphorical machine gun aimed at us.

Finally there is Resilience. I admit I do have a bit of a soft spot for good old Resilience. Probably because it’s got me to where I am today, which comparatively, is significantly better than I think anyone had expected (and I refuse to give Chance the credit there). Resilience reminds me of the martial arts master (the one in Kung Fu Panda, specifically), with a deep and strong determination to achieve an outcome it feels is essential for the greater good. I suppose in some ways it encompasses some of the traits of it’s MUE brethren like the morality and nagging presence of Ethics and acts in strange harmony with Chance and Chaos while stopping short of hopeless acceptance. I think that is what appeals to me about Resilience, the belief that Chance and Chaos can absolutely have their fun and Ethics and will keep you pointed in the right direction, but without Resilience nothing could ever be achieved. Resilience gets you where you want to be no matter how many times something blocks your way. Resilience may very well be the difference between, lets say, a painter and genocidal dictator for example.

So while all of the MUE’s play their own part in this viral crisis thought to be the worst in living history, Resilience is the unicorn I would give the short odds to (noting unicorn racing is widely frowned upon – and Chaos cheats anyway). Resilience on days where you are sick of being at home will help you find something to keep you on track, it may even inspire you into creativity. Resilience when you or someone you love gets sick will give you hope and in case of loss, will help you survive. Resilience, when you see how a global financial recession impacts you and those around you will help you find novel and resourceful ways of getting by. Resilience will be the reason that many of us will be able to tell a story to our grandkids about the rise of kindness and compassion during a time when the world was afraid.

Thanks Resilience, I guess.

I’d like to make a shout out to Resilience, one of the Magical Unicorns (because apparently there are non-magical ones?!) of Existence, or MUEs (pronounced moos, of course because of the sound they make), alongside Chaos, Chance and Ethics. When I talk about Resilience, I dont mean the same kind of resilience that life coaches teach and motivational speakers mention in TED Talks. Or bullies in disguise who justify their behaviour by claiming it’s the fault of victim lacking resilience. You know, wankers, gas-lighters, fitness instructors…now that being said, I have little academic knowledge of what constitutes the rest of the world’s version of resilience and can only reflect on my own experiences.

In my life, Resilience has been akin to my high school science teacher: we weren’t fans of eachother but we both had to be there. In fairness, both my science teacher and Resilience seemed to hold a grudging acceptance of me, evidenced by Mrs L occasionally inviting me to perform one of Rowan Atkinson’s stand up routines for the rest of the class and by Resilience inviting me to not give up on existing altogether.

The last few years have indeed been a time where my friend Resilience has had to do a lot of the heavy lifting. Ethics just complicated everything then had a crisis of confidence followed by a nervous breakdown, and Chance and Chaos had both been banished to the naughty corner. Poor Resilience. Performing a decade long solo in a four-piece band. In fairness, prior to that Resilience had things pretty easy. Chaos and Chance ruled the roost and there was simply no time for much else. The other two unicorns had been out to pasture for a good long time enoying the occasional bucket of chaff and a visit from the farrier. Of course Chaos and Chance eventually were doomed to really screw it all up one way or another and they decided to pack that action into what we refer to at work as a compressed timeline. Then, in rode Resilience (can a unicorn RIDE in? I guess if Resilience was in a horse float maybe – but would there need to be a hole drilled into the roof for the horn? Wouldnt a unicorn just fly? Wait, thats a pegasus, I havent thought this through) and got to work. The problem was that Resilience had it too good for too long and was not race ready. He could only put in a little effort before needing to rest and recover and look to return to back paddock for an amble to the water trough. My fitness instructor would suggest Resilience take ‘active recovery’ approach if struggling to keep up with the pace, but apparently MUEs dont work that way.

Despite the inconsistent efforts of Resilience (really, what IS ethics doing?!?!), I seem to have come out the other end. I wouldnt say unscathed, but maybe an acceptable level of scathing. Sufficiently scathed? Chance and Chaos seemed to have matured slightly and I’m sure Ethics will come to the fore one day. But all of this means that Resilience has started seeing other people. Every now and then when I could really rely on a bit of Resilience’s wisdom I find myself calling to no avail. I feel slightly cheated. I know others probably need Resilience as well and we did agree to an open relationship, but surely this is more of a ‘Nanny McPhee’ deal, where if I need Resilience, there Resilience will be. Ugh, I forgot about the whole needing Resilience but not wanting it and wanting it but not needing it. Great cop-out there dude. Someone wanted to transition to retirement early.

I am certain that my MUEs shed particles of their essence as they run through the cosmos and if I run a duster around the house I might gather enough to get me by. I have to say though, as far as fantastical, cosmic entities go, Resilience is bloody hard work! Chance and Chaos dont need me to do a thing! That isnt to say I dont do things to influence their input. I am excellent at pitching the odds unfavourably with my flair for the impulsive and desire for approval with zero consideration of whose approval I’m seeking. Ethics so far has had very little to say about anything and even when Ethics does pipe up, its usually with a contra-indicative and circular argument. But Resilience! FFS! Why, when I am at my absolutely lowest, must you goad me? When I have nothing in the tank mentally, physically, emotionally, you must prod me into action. I have fought you tooth and nail and I just never seem to win. And what do I get for your intrusion into my life? Two happy, healthy children who seem to have developed the second-hand-smoking version of resilience, a permanent job for the first time in over a decade, and half a bachelor’s degree (seriously, I think universities should award half-degrees, I could use the sense of achievement some days). I suppose I should be appreciative of your influence, Resilience, but honestly, I’d rather spend that time at a gym being trained by my high school science teacher while a life coach does a 12 hour TED talk about resilience in the corner.